These blogs were just what my weary soul needed to read this week.
I have found that being a stay-at-home mom to be the most challenging and yet rewarding of experiences but with it I have come across a very distinct feeling of failure that is constantly plaguing me.
Whenever my house isn't perfect - speckled with sticky finger prints - dirty dishes - dust - dirty laundry - this feeling comes to find me.
If I'm unable to do things myself - the feeling of failure comes to find me.
When I sit down to nurse my baby and my other daughter begins to throw a fit, crying and stomping away (I know it is jealousy) but the feeling of failure comes to find me.
When my babies are so sick and sad - the feeling of failure comes to find me.
When I see what other moms accomplish and aren't afraid to do in a day - the feeling of being a failure comes to find me.
This isn't a feeling that I have dealt with before. I have always thought of myself as a capable person. It's funny how adding children to life brings along changes in a person's view of themselves.
I am blessed by a wonderful husband who thinks that I'm doing a good job and tells me so. I'm also extremely blessed by a husband who is a big picture sort of chap. Which, thankfully, means he doesn't really notice the mess! Ha!
I was also blessed this week by several blogs which serve as reminders (I know this stuff - it just doesn't always stick!) that what I'm doing may not be able to be measured by something concrete (my work will never be finished) or by monetary gain (oh, how I wish it were!).
Having an eternal perspective and living in the moment . . . measuring my day by how much quality time I have spent with my lovely girls, instead of by lovely my house looks, is what it is all about.
I cannot say this any better than this blogger did (and even if I tried, it would be plagiarism) so here are the links:
http://www.ladiesagainstfeminism.com/?p=363#more-363
1 comment:
I've been at this SAHM thing for almost 5 years and there are a lot of days I feel completely overwhelmed by it all! Our small group is now going through "Shepherding a Child's Heart" and it's really helping me to put the whole parenting thing in the proper perspective. It's a daily, hourly, sometimes minute-by-minute thing to get through! We're blessed to have men that don't mind the mess!! :)
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