Wednesday, December 07, 2005

An important thing I learned from my mother . . .

Early on in life my mother taught us a very valuable lesson. You should say 10 positive things for every 1 negative thing you say to someone. Hey, you did such a good job . . . thanks for doing this . . . I appreciate that . . . I sure like hanging out with you . . . your hair looks so good that way . . . I think it is wonderful how you . . . dinner was great. . . you did a wonderful job at that. . . I think you would do wonderfully with that . . . thanks for . . . Oh, and by the way, I wish you would pick up your socks! (I will admit it took me a while to think of those 10 things and the 1 came very easily). How much better would this make our lives if we were to just follow this simple rule? The bad stuff would be so much easier to take. Our defenses would drop and we would be ready to possibly change ourselves when a kind suggestion was made. When we are constantly battered with criticism it becomes hard to take. I know that I am one of the worst people at following this rule. This has been sticking out a lot to me lately as I think about people's love languages and as I think about how I treat my husband and family. If you haven't read that book by Gary Smalley, it is a good one. My top love language is encouraging words. I tend to forget them if they are spoken to me but if you rifle down far enough in my purse you will find a bunch of printed things people have emailed to me that mean a lot. This was just a thought I had lately that I would share. If you hear me failing at this, which I will, I encourage you to hold me accountable. Yes, that means you too, Andrew. (Yikes, what am I getting myself into)! :) Thanks, Mom, for your wonderful wisdom!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't remember teaching you that! I'm not even very good at concentrating on the positive in people. But thanks for thinking you learned it from me.

Love, Mom

Jaime said...

I remember very clearly talking about it on the way home from one of Jenny's basketball games!

Melanie said...

I love the Love Language book! I may or may not have remembered that words of affirmation was your love language, but I'm sure we talked about it at some time. Here's an interesting thought that Jodi and I had while talking in China about love languages: It's harder to give out of the love language that you receive love in when you know the person won't return it than to give out of other love languages when the person won't return it. Did that make sense?? It helped us worked through some annoyances with each other :)