Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I don't speak whiny!

You all know that I love and adore my daughter.

I need your advice! She is in a stage right now that I do not understand. I probably don't understand it because I don't speak whiny! I speak English. Whenever I hear a whiny noise, it makes my head want to explode! :)

Anyway, Abigail is at the stage where she whines for everything. She has yet to say her first real word, although she makes noises that occasionally sound like words. I think she's just plain frustrated that she can't get her point across and I'm trying to help her as much as I can but . . .

where do I draw the line?

What I mean by this is that I want her to understand at an early age that life is not about always getting what you want or doing what you want to do. I'm trying to find a balance between figuring out what she wants (she gets what she needs: she is a well taken-care-of girl) and teaching her that whining is not the way to get what she wants.

I've been asking her to sign if she wants more food at supper or if she is all-done. She will do it most of the time but there is still a very good amount of whining, temper, and crying going on.

Is it just my kid? Is it her teeth? Do all 1-year-olds who don't speak yet whine this much?

I know a lot of this comes with being a kid, temper tantrums, growing up pains, etc, but how much of it is normal? I DO NOT want to reinforce her whining behavior but at the same time I want to be understanding and really help her to express what she wants because that is important too. Just trying to find that balance.

Is anyone else's kid like this (or was)?


Jennifer said...

Jacob screamed instead of whining. My dad finally came up with "use your man voice" and that worked amazingly well. I know he did for a couple reasons. 1)it was a new sound and he got a reaction when he did it. 2)he couldn't talk (or refused to try, really) so that's how he got my attention when he wanted something. I can't handle whiners either. And I don't allow it (not to sound really mean, but I can't handle the whining!!). If she knows the signs, make her do them. Jacob knows some signs and it only took a few times before he realized screaming wasn't going to get him what he wanted. I just had to be consistent in making him communicate (which was hard, believe me, b/c he is one STUBBORN boy). I think Abigail and Jacob's ages are frustrating for both them and us b/c they want to communicate (most of the time!) and we want them to, but sometimes it's just hard! Hang in there...pretty soon it'll be "why won't she stop talking?!" :)

Jaime said...

Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone. I really do my best not to "give in" and to make her sign. I also really don't like whining. I want her to know without a shadow of a doubt that whining will NOT get her what she wants.

Sometimes she just hands me a toy and then starts whining. I know she wants me to "do" something with it but I can't figure it out!

I know that she'll grow out of this and/or we'll figure out what she wants.