Failure?

Oi! I'm trying not to feel like a failure. Let me back up a little bit. After Abigail was born, I waited approximately 11 months and then got frustrated with my weight and joined Weight Watchers. I lost about 10 pounds in that first month and then discovered I was pregnant (surprise!). I was bummed but I knew that I could do it again.

Fast forward a year or so. Elsie is born and I gave myself two months. After the two month mark, I joined again. This time I lost 35 pounds! I felt great and much more comfortable in my own skin. It took me probably five or six months to lose that weight.

I think you know how the story goes . . . yep that's right . . . surprise, pregnant again! I was at my lowest weight starting a pregnancy and felt great. After Noah was 4 weeks old, I joined Weight Watchers again.

I was able to lose 20 pounds, give or take, from my initial signing up but the rest of it just will not budge. I haven't really lost any since October and since I'm thrifty (ha!) I can't stand spending the money on a program that isn't really working.

I canceled my membership tonight. It feels weird and scary and freeing! I'm still planning on weighing in once a week to keep myself in check. If I start gaining, I'll probably sign up again. If I can maintain then I will probably just wait until my life isn't so hectic and then concentrate on it again later. I know that's the reason why. I'm literally so focused on wiping noses, and behinds, and laundry, and cooking, that it leaves very little time for tracking food. Thankfully I have found that attending exercise classes is a great way to burn off some of my daily frustration and have really enjoyed those so I'm sure I'll keep that up.

Hope I can maintain (or even lose!) and then when the time is right I can get focused and back on track!!