Failure?

Oi! I'm trying not to feel like a failure. Let me back up a little bit. After Abigail was born, I waited approximately 11 months and then got frustrated with my weight and joined Weight Watchers. I lost about 10 pounds in that first month and then discovered I was pregnant (surprise!). I was bummed but I knew that I could do it again.

Fast forward a year or so. Elsie is born and I gave myself two months. After the two month mark, I joined again. This time I lost 35 pounds! I felt great and much more comfortable in my own skin. It took me probably five or six months to lose that weight.

I think you know how the story goes . . . yep that's right . . . surprise, pregnant again! I was at my lowest weight starting a pregnancy and felt great. After Noah was 4 weeks old, I joined Weight Watchers again.

I was able to lose 20 pounds, give or take, from my initial signing up but the rest of it just will not budge. I haven't really lost any since October and since I'm thrifty (ha!) I can't stand spending the money on a program that isn't really working.

I canceled my membership tonight. It feels weird and scary and freeing! I'm still planning on weighing in once a week to keep myself in check. If I start gaining, I'll probably sign up again. If I can maintain then I will probably just wait until my life isn't so hectic and then concentrate on it again later. I know that's the reason why. I'm literally so focused on wiping noses, and behinds, and laundry, and cooking, that it leaves very little time for tracking food. Thankfully I have found that attending exercise classes is a great way to burn off some of my daily frustration and have really enjoyed those so I'm sure I'll keep that up.

Hope I can maintain (or even lose!) and then when the time is right I can get focused and back on track!!

Survival!

We've been passing around colds in our family. It seems that any little thing like this put me right back into survival mode!

I did manage to make a batch of banana bread loaves this morning but that's the first cooking that I've done all week.

I have got to find something to make for dinner tonight!

Someday they'll all be gone and I'll be able to enjoy being sick alone. (Really, enjoy it, folks with no little kids. Being able to lay down on the couch and sleep?! Amazing). For now I'm plugging along.

Love Note Books

I don't remember where I got this idea. Whether I came up with it or I happened to glace at a blog or website and think of it is a mystery. I had the idea to create each one of my children a 'love notes' book.

I have been wanting to order these books for some time and since I had a little Christmas money to play around with I went ahead and ordered these.

I have written lots of notes to my kids on my blog and will continue to do so but they are scattered throughout other random rumblings and ramblings that my kids may not want to read through some day. Each book has a picture of me and each child and each one says Dear (Insert Name) Love, Mommy. I hope to fill them with notes to my precious kiddos on special occasions, like birthdays, church events, firsts, and so on, but I also hope to find the time to just sit down and jot notes to them on regular everyday kind of days to encourage them when they get older.

One day (one sad sad day) when my children leave home or get married - whenever I deem appropriate - I will give them this book to take with them so they will always have a physical reminder of my love with them.

After I had ordered the books, I saw a similar idea from a dad here: http://wearethatfamily.com/2012/01/the-letter-box/ if anyone is interested in that wonderful idea as well.

So . . . I'm going to get busy writing my letters!

P.S. I created and ordered these books from Snapfish.com but found many interesting websites that offered a wide variety of books. I wanted something hardcover but customizable. I'm very happy with them!!

Stepping Back

I received wonderful and wise advice from a fellow mom around the time I was due to have Noah. This mom had three kids of similar ages as mine.

Her primary advice was . . . no guilt . . . no pressure. Just take it easy and do what you have to do.

As moms, there is so much pressure to do this, put your child in this, be this way or that way when really only the parents know what is best for their own kids. I truly do believe this.

In some ways I have fallen off this bandwagon of "don't push yourself, enjoy this time" advice that I received 8 months ago . . . at least in my mind.

I feel like I should be more involved in this or that, etc. Giving more, being more, doing more. I remembered my sweet friend's advice a week or so ago and I'm back. Back to saying "no" if it really doesn't benefit my family or if it pushes the boundaries of what is safe and fun for all of us. After all, they're only going to be this young and needy once. My mission and my calling is single-minded and focused right now and that is to serve my family.

I love to life purposefully. I don't want to just agree to do activities and make plans because it isn't bad. Instead I'd rather only plan to do things that lift us up and encourage us to live our lives more fully for Christ!

What sort of things do you feel pressured to do to "keep up" with those around you? Or what have you said "no" to lately that has freed you up to just be still and enjoy life and the relationships around you?

November Visit

I just realized that I'm pretty behind on events so I'm doing to post a few things to catch up on the last few months. In November, my family came to help celebrate Elsie's birthday. This was the only picture I took. Seriously! I'm terrible at taking pictures. Thankfully this shows my dad in all his grandkid glory!

Sure wish we could live closer and see everyone more often! We are planning to travel out there this summer for a nice visit!

Happy Birthday and Anniversary!

Just stopping by to wish a very Happy Birthday to my wonderful dad! Happy Birthday, Dad!

Also, Happy Anniversary to my in-law's!

And last . . . and yes . . . certainly least of all these, my dog turns 7 years old today. Happy Birthday, Dewey!

8 months

Dear Noah,

Hi my little bundle of boy joy! You are now 8 months old (and 2 days but mommy's always behind these days!). You are crawling all over the place and have been for several weeks. You love getting into things. Your favorite destination is to crawl into Elsie's room. You must know that all the good toys are in there!

You are eating some baby food now. You've had bananas, avocados, peas, pears, and prunes. You eat what we give you but aren't terribly enthusiastic about food yet. That's okay. You are still a great nurser and you're obviously getting enough to eat . . . little chunk!

You are still not a very good sleeper. You are starting to get into a regular nap routine where you take two naps a day and sometimes still need a third. You go to bed around 8 pm every night but usually wake just to check on us about 1/2 hour after I put you to bed. Stinker boy! Most nights you only get up once or twice but sometimes it's more than that. As much as I love you and I love seeing your cute baby boy face, it is time for you to start sleeping better!

Noah, we love you so much. You are such a joy to all of us. Your big sisters love to play with you and take care of you. Abigail loves to "babysit" you and will often ask me if I can take a turn watching her "Noey". She feels so responsible for you! Elsie's new favorite thing is to have you come and play in her bed. She calls you "Noney (no knee)". She is becoming more gentle with you and will sit down to play with you too! You are the perfect addition to our family!

There are so many important things I want to say to you but I will try to space them out as you grow (because you're only 8 months old and yet you're already 8 months old!!). The most important thing that I want you to know, my boy, is that Jesus loves you. He died for you and He wants you in His family. As you grow, I hope you see our lives lived out to reflect that truth. I also want you to always remember that I will always love you and will always be there for you in whatever way you need the most. I'm aware (and kind of sad about, to be honest) of the fact that the way you need me will change over the years.

You are truly my "special blessing" that your daddy prayed for many months ago and although it took me awhile to admit it, I'm so glad he prayed that prayer!

I love you!

Mama

Hmmm?

So I was all geared up to blog today (with pictures!!) and blogger won't upload my photos. Bummer!

Relaxed day around here. My mother-in-law has the girls for part of the day so I have gotten a few extra things accomplished. I have mainly cleaned the living room and am going to try a new recipe for dinner tonight. Wish me luck. It is called Meatloaf and Potato Pileup. We'll see how well it goes over!

Hopefully some pictures and a proper post soon!!

Happy New Year

I know . . . I'm six days late wishing you all a Happy New Year!

Oh well . . .

My days are changing with my kiddos changing. That is for sure!

The main thing right now is that Noah is crawling. He started crawling over Christmas break and he can really get anywhere he wants now! That means he either needs to be watched, in his Pack n' play or exersaucer when awake!

Speaking of being awake . . . the boy is still a TERRIBLE sleeper. Every night I put him down at about 8 pm and he falls asleep easily while nursing. I lay him in his crib and between 10 and 30 minutes later he will be up crying.

I know he's tired because if I give in and go rock him, he goes back to sleep. I've been letting him cry lately because . . . you know he's getting older! He should sleep more by now!

He always gets up at least one time per night. Two times is very common. Getting up more than two times per night seems to happen a few times a week. Last night he was up at 8:30 (after going down at 8), 10:30, 12:00 am, 3:20 am, 5:00 am, and awake for the day at 7:45 am.

This would be okay with me if he was a good napper but the boy usually only lasts 20 to 30 minutes on the naps. I'm not sure what to do at this point. With the third baby, you'd think I'd have the answers but each kid is different.

Surely he isn't getting more teeth! If he was then it would be his molars which really shouldn't come in for another 4 or 5 months!! I can't feel anything when I check his mouth so I just think he's in a bad habit at this point.

Elsie:

Oh my, Elsie. In some ways she is getting easier. She is finally FINALLY starting to communicate more . . . even if I'm the only one who understands her. The girl can throw a whale of a temper tantrum, though, and out-of-the-blue. This has definitely kept us from making too many public appearances with her, such as eating out, etc. If you live in our area and enjoy eating out once in a while, you can thank me for staying home. I'm sure she'd be screaming.

Abigail:

Abigail's main objective these days is to "take care of these babies" and most days she really does a wonderful job of helping me. She has her own sass however! She loves to help me cook. Loves to hang out with her dad, and loves to dance!

So, I'm hoping to set a goal for myself of blogging once a week or so but I'm taking the pressure off (of myself). I am kind of dense sometimes but am still realizing that I'm still just surviving around here in our current life state with many small children. I am saying "no" to anything that would distract my focus of taking care of my family in this season. I know it will pass much too quickly for me (it already is) and I just want to enjoy it!!