Monday, August 27, 2012

Poo story

I tried repeatedly to get a good photo of Noah this morning for this blog post. The boy NEVER stops moving except when he's asleep so this is the best I got. Haha!

I've had requests for the poop story from last week so here it goes:

DISCLAIMER: this is pretty graphic and nasty so if you don't want to read a detailed description about kids and poop you may want to stop reading now.




Thursday morning began quite normally. Elsie was fussing up at storm for no reason that I could quite figure out so before I even made breakfast I was sitting in the living room holding her and saying my usually line, "Why is Elsie crying?" Never did figure it out.

Anyway.

While doing this Noah come walking out of the downstairs bathroom and is drenched and chewing on something. The only conclusion was that he played in the toilet water and was chewing on (fresh, I think) toilet paper.

Great way to start the day. (I always try to leave the lid down and the door closed, not sure why it was open).

So then we had breakfast.

After breakfast I thought, I'm going to put Elsie in panties today and see how it goes. I took her into the bathroom several times in the coarse of an hour and put her on the potty and showed her how to pull down her own panties. No luck.

Abigail and I got things underway with our school work while the little two played in Elsie's room. I hear a scream from Elsie and ran in there to discover a pretty giant size poop on the floor by her bed (big enough to clog the toilet later!). I immediately set Noah in Elsie crib to keep him away from any poop action, cleaned Elsie up and cleaned up the poop. I figured out that Elsie had taken her own underwear off during the coarse of play.

Did not resume the underwear wearing for Elsie. I thought she'd just pooped a lot and wouldn't need to go anymore. Abigail and I got back to school work and Elsie and Noah wandered upstairs to Noah's room to play.

A few minutes later Mr. Noah comes wandering back downstairs and comes over to me while I'm sitting at the table. I think I smell a poopy diaper so I get up to change him in Elsie's room. While in the midst of the changing, I discover that he does NOT have a poopy diaper but yet I still smell something . . . foul!!! So I sniff around only to discover the smell is

COMING FROM MY SON'S MOUTH!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

He also had some on his hand. GAG. ME.  I called my ever helpful daughter, Abigail, to me and had her check upstairs for more poop (which, she found) and to try to contain Elsie while I gave Noah a bath. That boy got scrubbed and got his mouth rinsed out!

I got my baby boy upstairs, wet from his bath, only to discover that Elsie . . . after pooping foul smelling poop on the floor of her brother's room . . . which he proceeded to EAT, decided to scoot down the stairs on her bottom, instead of walking, and therefore left poop streaks down about 5 or 6 carpeted steps before getting herself fully carpet-wiped.

She had also went potty in a HUGE puddle right at the top of the stairs.

All the kids got placed into Noah's crib while my massive cleanup effort began. Lots of resolve carpet cleaner and screaming ensued!

My biggest fear was that she had pooped somewhere that I had not yet discovered. I had found two spots but was worried about more but after a big search effort on my part, I did not find more.

I was pretty distraught by this time . . .thinking my son was going to die a terrible death by disease from EATING HIS SISTER'S POOP so I did what any half-crazed American mother does and called the doctor.

That was an interesting conversation:

"Oh, hello nice Dr.'s office receptionist. Yes, my 2 year old daughter pooped on my floor. My 1 year old son picked up the said poop AND ATE IT (and yes I was crying by this point, out of fear and humiliation). Is he going to die?"

They were very nice and assured me that pooping on the floor during potty training and the poop eating was very normal for kids that age. They said he'd be fine.

And you know what. . .

He was. Not a sign that it even phased him.

I called my husband to tell him of the events while he was on his way to a company golf outing (and no I'm not bitter about that AT ALL) and he had a good laugh, especially at my crying.

I slapped a diaper on Elsie and called the potty training quits for a while!

And that's the story, folks!

I suppose it goes without saying that Elsie and Noah will always have a special bond!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I thought you told us you did go ahead and put panties back on Elsie after the first poop "accident", but your post says she did NOT resume wearing underwear. Anyway, great story. It gave us another chuckle.

Love, Mom

Jaime said...

That day is kind of a blur but I don't think she had on underwear when she went upstairs.